Transformational
Career and Business Coaching

Are you your hardest critic? Are your self-expectations unreasonable? Do you feel like a failure if you are not performing perfectly in all areas of your life, including work? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions chances are you are under a great deal of stress.

If you are feeling overworked and underappreciated, or simply overwhelmed, it might be time for you to review  your priorities and values , and ask yourself how being a perfectionist is honoring those.  Once you are clear on what is truly important in your life it is easier to decide on what you can let go of.  We can live healthy, happy lives without being all things to all people!

Here are some self-coaching questions to ask yourself if you are a perfectionist:

1. What expectations do I have of myself and where do those come from?
2. How are those expectations serving me?
3. What judgments do I have about myself?
4. What is my definition of “doing a good job”?
5. What can I let go of or say “No” to because it does not align with my priorities or values?
6. What “shoulds” keep me trapped in the perfectionist mode?
7. How can I let go of being a perfectionist and still maintain my work performance standards?

Remember, if you change your thinking you can change your life.  In the dictionary good is defined as:  “effective, efficient, beneficial, valid, healthy, or sound.” What if you could truly embrace the idea that “good is good enough”? Would you have more freedom, more peace of mind, better mental and emotional health, more success,  more fun?  What would be your first step to implementing this new idea of “good is good enough”?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”   Gandhi

In order to function at our highest potential, we need a support system. American society places a high value on independence and self-made men and women. The message: the strong don’t need to ask for help. The result is that we believe if we do reach out for help we will look weak and inept.   It’s time for all of us to stop buying into these limiting beliefs and start thinking about how we can build strong support teams for our personal and professional lives.

Consider these benefits:

• Increase efficiency and effectiveness
• Reduce stress, overwhelm and burn out
• Stay mentally, emotionally, and physically stronger
• Stay focused on our priorities
• Weather changes more easily and maintain perspective
• Create the freedom to visualize, dream, think BIG
• Find time for family, fun, and good self care

So, the question is “How comfortable are you asking for help?” When you look around the most successful business people you know are the ones who can hire and keep a great staff, and have a strong resource network.  Within a business we need experts in various fields to help with operations, finances, and marketing.   Do you have experts who you trust and who have your best interests in mind, e.g. a CPA,  investment advisor, insurance broker, payroll specialist, bookkeeper, business coach, web designer, and marketing consultant?  Do you have colleagues or peers who you can turn to for help with a difficult career decision? If not, it is time to review your business plan and include the team players that will help you move to the next level of your success.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to get started:

How do I feel about asking for help?

Where are the critical gaps?

Who do I know and trust to to add to my support system?

What’s my first step in creating a new support team?

The definition of self confidence is having confidence in one’s own abilities and merit as an individual person; having self assurance, poise, self possession, sense of worth, self respect. It is the single most important key in living a successful life.

13 Steps to Building Self Confidence

1. Dress sharp
2. Put pep in your step
3. Develop a powerful personal commercial
4. Cultivate attitude of gratitude
5. Shift from negative to positive energy
6. Show you are interested and interesting
7. Practice speaking up, but be a great listener
8. Focus on contribution
9. Support your own good health
10. Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you
11. Be your new best friend
12. Teach people how you want to be treated
13. Get out and DO, but remember to BE

We are always at choice. The decisions we make, the paths we take, the people we form relationships with are all by choice.  If today is the day you choose to redesign your life, here are 7 simple steps to keep in mind:

Step 1: Reconnect with who you are –define your purpose, mission and  values

Step 2: Put yourself first – Practice good self care (Put your own oxygen mask on first)

Step 3: Create a support system – build power teams at work and in your personal life

Step 4: Let go of being perfect – Let good be good enough

Step 5: Identify and change the beliefs that hold you back – discard your old thoughts/beliefs and create  more empowering ones

Step 6: Manage your time and energy – choose your priorities and apply your energy accordingly

Step 7: Live courageously –connect with your passion, break the barriers to possibility

No matter how skilled you are, or how much experience you have, if you are not practicing these seven steps you will not be able to reach your true potential at work or at home.  So, why not start now?

Watch for my upcoming blogs on Steps 2 – 7 for powerful questions you can be asking yourself to help step into balance, power, and success.

I recently had lunch at a local restaurant called Star Café. Gazing at the walls of photos of Hollywood stars, I began to think about what really makes a person a “star.” Of course, when it comes to Hollywood, we recognize stars immediately—they are beautiful, charismatic, interesting, unique, rich, famous, fashionable and talented (although that last one might be questionable). But in life outside Hollywood, what really makes a person a star?

In our own lives we collect “stars” from an early age. You probably have great memories of teachers, friends, family and mentors you consider to be stars—people who impacted your life in a positive way. What made these people stars? The simple answer is that they embodied qualities you admire. Did you ever really think about what those qualities or characteristics were? Were they smart, courageous, kind, generous, assertive, organized, successful, funny, daring, loving, dependable, honest, hard working, peaceful, patient? Why were the qualities demonstrated by these stars so important to you?

What most of us don’t stop to think about is that we can be our own stars. In the movie that is our life, we can change our character and our script simply by making new choices. With just one “stroke of the pen” we can change our lives in very significant ways. That’s a powerful feeling!  By focusing on developing the qualities we admire in others, we can change the way we show up in the world. A mentor of mine reminds me frequently that everything we think, do and say is an act of self-definition. How satisfied are you with your current self-definition? What changes would you like to make in your personal and professional life so that you could be your own star?